September fun and pregnancy details

Hello all!

Not a ton going on, but I thought it was time to update everyone. 

At the beginning of September Sonnie, Shae, and Alex drove out from Indiana to drop off Shae in Provo for her next semester of school. It was the 2nd time seeing Sonnie in a short period of time and was so much fun! We went out to eat almost every night and ate soooo much good food! We also had an extremely fun time just chatting and laughing all together. I love when they get to visit! 

September started out warm and then suddenly turned into fall. Honestly, it was different weather from one day to the next. One morning we woke up and it was cool, crisp, and very windy. Autumn blew in and has been here since. I'm not surprised when its in the 30's or 40's in the morning, although the afternoon often gets into the 60's and 70's. But fall is definitely in the air. It has been so much fun wearing cozy warm fall clothing. And I am finally getting around to finger knitting myself a scarf (a few years back I did a few for some family members, and now its my turn). 

Jessica, Kristen, and I got to go to the lantern festival together. It is this awesome event where there's live music, food trucks, campfires and s'mores, and everyone gets to light and send off a paper lantern (Tangled style). When we arrived it was a stormy evening and we were sure we were about to get rained on. The storm took another direction and we stayed dry the whole evening. When it finally got dark enough we were given the go ahead to light our lanterns. It's not as easy as it sounds. The part the catches fire was did not catch easily. I stood with mine over fire for a good two minutes (at least) while a random stranger helped me get it to light on fire. Once you finally light it on fire you have to hold it near the ground while the lantern fills with warm air. Mine did so quickly, but not everyone was so lucky. When it finally fills with warm air it starts "tugging" to get away and you can simply let go as it floats into the night sky. However, many lanterns did not want to leave earth. They attempted to ascend and then quickly returned to earth, becoming a rolling fire ball (okay, I may be exaggerating a little...). It was a comical sight though. If you are able to look past that into the sky you are granted a gorgeous view. Just as beautiful as the Tangled scene, lanterns crowd the night sky as they float away. I tried to capture the moment with pictures, but they just don't do justice. It was such a fun evening with my sisters!

I also got to go on a hike with McKay, Chandler, and Shae one Saturday. We decided to go to Big Cottonwood Canyon and on our way up to the trail head saw two moose run across the road! We pulled over and got out to get a better look, but they had already made it down the hill and across a small river. Still a neat sight to see! Our hike was beautiful! At the half way point we reached a small lake and got to see a mama and baby moose enjoying lunch. We decided to eat our own lunch as we watched them. The mama saw us and didn't seem alarmed, so we picked a bunch of rocks that were a safe distance from the moose and unpacked our lunch. We were still pretty darn close to them and it was just amazing watching them! What beautiful animals! 

A quick side story: we had Chinese food one evening in the past month. I opened my fortune cookie and was given this fortune. Pretty hilarious!

Alright, I know I kinda dropped a bomb on everyone in my last post and didn't even give any details. So here it goes. 

Yes, I am pregnant. We found out in June and are completely overjoyed! I had ended up taking a round of Clomid (the drug that forces my body to ovulate). Often times the first cycle is not successful, but we just happened to get lucky. We are extremely grateful and ecstatic for this pregnancy, but we do feel a little bittersweet. The reason for the bittersweet feeling is we have now become an announcement that was so difficult for us before. We have found so many of our friends struggle with infertility too. So many of them have comforted, supported, and lifted me up in hard times. My wish is that, because we also struggled with infertility for over three years, our success might give hope to those that are still struggling. We still pray for all of the couples we know that are struggling and think of you often. <3

The pregnancy has been  surprisingly easy. I was blessed with good genes (like my sisters) and haven't had to deal with a lot of morning sickness. Just a little nausea here and there. Some aches and pains, but nothing terrible. I try to not take this for granted and express my thanks to Heavenly Father often! I probably started showing a little baby bump around 12-13 weeks and would definitely say that I've popped now (just about 20 weeks). I started feeling the baby moving after 17 weeks and boy is that a happy thing! 

We got to go in for our anatomy scan this past week and it was soo fun to see a baby (that actually, finally, looks like a human baby!) inside my belly! Because we waited so long for this baby we wanted to celebrate and asked if Jessica would do a gender reveal for us. So during the ultrasound, both McKay and I looked away as the technician checked the gender of the baby. Jessica had already planned everything so we didn't have to wait too much longer to find out the gender. The next day we had family gather together (Sonnie and Alex, and Carli were in town again!) and had a little party. When it was time for the reveal Jessica brought out a canvas with the words "For this child we have prayed" she had painted on! She gave us two squirt bottles with paint inside and on the count of three we attempted to squirt the paint all over the canvas (blue paint for a boy, pink paint for a girl). Well, the paint would not come out of the bottles! We looked at Jessica, confused. She said it wasn't planned, but man was it funny! We quickly unscrewed the cap and started gobbing the paint on the canvas. It was white paint...? More confusion as we tried to spread it around and figure the riddle out. Turns out it is glow in the dark paint. We rushed inside to a dark room where the paint glowed.........PINK! We are having a baby girl! We are extremely excited to bring a daughter into our family and cannot wait to meet her in March 2018! 

Our baby girl!

Summer Fun!

Alright, alright. So I say that I'll post more often and I don't...but once a month isn't terrible. I'll make no promises this time, but you will be hearing from me, even if it is just once a month. 

Since my last post we have been so busy visiting family and friends! We went to Thai food with Parker and spent the evening chatting about how life throws curve balls, but is still so good. Tanner and Carli visited with their cute kiddos and McKay got worn out playing tag with the boys. I got to spend our birthday with Larissa when she and Josh brought their boys up for two weeks. I got to see my second mom, Sonnie, when she came to town for a few days after a reunion with her siblings. We had so much fun driving up American Fork Canyon, playing with puppies, eating good food, and just chatting. I planned a last minute get together with Vicky when she passed through Utah on her way to an Ed Sheeran concert. I had a quick roommate reunion at Mariah's wedding reception with her, Emma, and Brittani. And I ran into Bobbie at the Provo rec center and got to meet her adorable little girl. I'm sure I've missed some, we've seen so many people! It has been busy, but so so enjoyable! We love seeing family and friends that we haven't seen in a while. We wish we could see them all more often. 

We've also moved in the past month. Our lease with our apartment was up and we aren't quite ready to sign another year-long lease. McKay is still working with ResNexus, but is definitely working on sending out his resume. Since a new job might move us to a new location we needed a temporary home (cue Carrie Underwood ;) ). So we are living with my parents for a month or two while we figure that out. The move was surprisingly easy and low stress. Mom and Jessica came one day and helped pack the bulk of the living room and kitchen. I spent the next week or so packing a few boxes every day. We had plenty people come to help us load our moving truck to move everything to our storage unit and then we took everything else to our new home/bedroom. Thank you everyone for making it go so smoothly! We are enjoying out temporary home.

Here's a quick run down of things I've thought about but won't take up a whole paragraph by themselves. McKay and I want to plan a trip to hike Timpanogos (hike up, camp, see sunrise, hike down). We're not quite in amazing shape, so we're preparing. I'm most likely going on a overseas trip with Jessica this fall. Not quite sure where or when just yet, but advice and suggestions are welcome (especially how to do it cheap). I really want to come visit Rexburg/Idaho Falls this fall too. Idaho friends, when works for you guys? Since we moved I had to leave my crossfit gym. I miss it so much! But Mom and I have been going to the gym together and getting in a pretty good workout. And, I think thats about it...

Oh yah, McKay and I learned a song together. He plays it on ukulele (ook-oo-le-le Parker) and I sing. It's a cute lullaby originally sang by Brandi Carlile. The video is posted below. Don't judge the imperfectness, we just threw it together.

Yes, it's true. :)

Catch up

Gosh, I thought I was back. For some reason I have just had a hard time finding time to sit down and write, and hard time finding things to write about. But here is a little catch up about the goings on in the Warnick family.

I'm continuing Crossfit and love it despite having trouble finding motivation to go sometimes. I attend the 7 AM class and sometimes I just don't want to get out of bed. I usually make myself go and always enjoy when I go. Its just the getting myself there part that is hard.

We love our pups. They have always brought us entertainment and joy. We got them to help us cope with infertility and man do they keep us happy and on our toes. They are best buds! Scout is a little spunky dog that knows what she likes and will always be a fighter. Swede is the sweetest, most snuggly, chill dog who isn't afraid to bite Scout's ankles and yet takes Scout pushing her around. They always have us laughing.

McKay brought me a happy bouquet of yellow and white daisies and the first wild sunflower of the season. I wasn't having a very good day and I had asked him to pick up a few things at the store. He came home with all the items I had requested and the additional beautiful bouquet. The thoughtfulness of the bouquet was exactly what I needed. McKay love me and knows me so well. I think daisies are some of the happiest flowers, with the exception of sunflowers. I love the wild sunflowers that pop up all over Utah in the summer. I'm waiting a few more weeks until I can make a full bouquet out of the sunny blooms.

I'm trying out some natural skin care. A little while ago a friend posted on Facebook about an app she uses to find clean bathroom products (makeup, soap, shampoo, face wash, etc). The app is called Think Dirty. I've been trying to slowly replace products I use with products that have more natural ingredients. So I found a facial toner and a moisturizing serum that I have started using. So far my face is still getting use to the products. I usually only use water to rinse my face and my face does pretty well aside from being a little dry. With these new products my face is definitely not dry, but I'm having a few breakouts. Hopefully my skin adjusts and I can continue using the products. Ok, enough about that haha.

McKay has been asked to go back to working 50 hour weeks. Unfortunately this might be one of the last straws for him. McKay has been working really hard and the higher ups in the company refuse to see the progress that is being made. They keep making changes to the plans for the project which has McKay going back and re-doing parts of the project. They're project management just isn't great. And McKay and his coworkers are having to deal with it. So we may be looking for a new job soon.

While I was growing up my mom often used a Better Homes and Gardens cookbook. There are so many great recipes in that book and looking at it now you can sure tell it has been well loved. McKay got me a newer version of the cookbook for Christmas two years ago. It has sat in my kitchen with the rest of my recipe books and has not really been used. What a waste! I opened it this past week and found so many great recipes! I've used it twice in the past few days and am sure I will continue finding some wonderful things in that wonderful book.

That is about all I can think about right now. I will make an effort to get back into the groove of writing weekly! Until next time :)

I'm back!

It has been three weeks since I last wrote, but nothing extremely exciting to tell. 

I was able to hold my first Pack meeting for Cub Scouts since becoming involved. The meeting was the day after I got back to Utah and so it had to be thrown together. Don't get me wrong, I had done some preparation, but there is only so much you can do while you're out of town. So I threw it together. Once I had the food prepared I arrived on time, but I had really needed to be early. Unfortunately, I didn't get everything set up until ten minutes after the start time. I felt flustered, unprepared, and totally inadequate. Once the meeting actually started it went well, although the small presentation I had prepared only lasted three minutes, awards lasted five minutes, and flag and skit lasted another five or so. In all we were only sitting and discussing for about fifteen minutes which felt way too short. The food took up the remaining forty-five minutes. So, while it went decently, it definitely could have been better. We'll see how this next one goes.

I found a beautiful hike nearby. Its up Hobble Creek Canyon and the tail is called Wardsworth. Most of the hikes that I have done here in Utah have been through a fairly deserty environment, and so that is what I was expecting.  However, it was completely different than I expected. The trail is right next to a creek and has a few different places where you have to cross the creek. It is so green and beautiful. Also, the trail is mostly flat and so is not a difficult hike. It was just so beautiful and pleasant wandering through the trees and greenery, listening to the birds and the creek going by. I'll be returning often. 

I started Crossfit again after a three weeks of being out of town. That first day killed me! Later that week I couldn't bend my arms because they were so sore! And I promise you I am not exaggerating. McKay had to help me get dressed and do my hair. Thank goodness for a wonderful husband that takes care of me! Since then I have had a slightly easier time, but am definitely still trying to get back into the swing of things. 

Since the beginning of May McKay has had to work fifty hour weeks. Its been doable, but he sure has been getting tired of it. McKay usually enjoys programming and will often work on his own projects on Saturday morning. That has not been happening while he's been working fifty hours. He was getting up at 5:30 AM, only using up half of his allotted time for lunch, and staying late as well. Thankfully, they have told him that he can go back to 45 hours for now, and hopefully back down to 40 in a few weeks. He's much happier working a few less hours. 

Not much more has happened, but I am back to my blog. I'm trying to get back to writing every week. Anywho, love you all! Until next week :)

Cali Vacay

You know what? I am a California girl and I don't think that will ever change. 

I probably won't ever live in California again, but it is definitely one of my favorite places to be. I am on vacation currently and loving being back in California after almost three years. Three years is way too long to be away. I've spent quite a lot of time in the sun and at the beach. Goodness, salt water and sand sure does my body good.

My body needs this because I put it to good use last Monday. I hiked the Grand Canyon with some of my favorite people. About six years ago we all worked together at a hotel near the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. During that time we all got to hike from the North Rim to the South Rim in one day. So, we decided to have a reunion and hike the canyon again together. The trip started out smoothly, we all got up on time and made it out of the campsite at the time we had planned for. But then we got to the entrance of the park, and the gate was closed! It didn't open for two more hours, so before we even started our hike we were two hours behind. The hike was difficult but fun. We made pretty good time to Phantom Ranch (our mid-point), but then came the time to hike up, up up. That was when it really became challenging. We made it out of the canyon safely at about 12:30 AM. It was a long day and a long drive back to camp. I'll just say that my body is still recovering and I have been sleeping really well. Overall, I'm really proud of how I did on the hike. It helped me to see my strengths and weaknesses physically. Dad wants to hike the canyon in November, and I'll be aiming to do even better.

The only down-side to this amazing vacation in San Diego is that McKay had to stay home. Before this trip the longest we had been apart was one night. I have officially been away from my husband for 8 days. I miss waking up to his handsome face each morning. And I miss McKay hugs. We've been able to text here and there and talk every night, which is a huge blessing of modern technology. 

As much as I miss the love of my life, I feel proud of myself that I can take a vacation for and by myself. I love being paired with McKay in ever sense, but I have loved finding myself and doing things for myself the past few months. I love finding out who I am now. I can still be independent. I feel like I can't call McKay my other half. Although we do complement each other and in a sense "complete" each other, we are whole people, not just halves. I think I forgot that for a while. But I am loving finding me again. 

Other things I've done this week:

Beach, beach, and more beach

Kayaking with Jess

Ate delicious Cuban food

Found out what peroneal tendonitis is

Visited family

Played barbies with my sweet niece

Narrowly escaped the stomach flu

Boogie boarding at the beach

Made German Chocolate Cake for Dad's birthday (YUM)

Kristen's recipe

What I'm looking forward to this week:

Spending lots of time with my brother's kids

Possible zoo trip

A few more days in California

Seeing McKay on Wednesday night

My first pack meeting for the cubscouts

More beach time

Having fun with Mom and Grandma

Seeing my puppies again

Current Goals:

Finish re-reading Joseph Smith History

Start reading the Gospel Topic Essays

Heal my foot and get back to Crossfit

Start eating a ton of veggies

Improve my relationship with my Heavenly Father

Love you all!!!

A letter to Mom

Mother Dearest, 

I got to spend a good chunk of time with you this week. Monday, we went to the dog park with dad and had fun watching the dogs. Tuesday, Jessica and I got to help you paint your pretty purple wall. And today, Friday, I came up to your house to drop off my suitcase and ended up hanging out with you for a few hours. I love spending time with you, Mom. And I know everyone will claim their mom is the best there is, but let me tell you, everyone is wrong (except for Adam, Kristen, Larissa, and Jessica of course). Mom, you are the best there is! You raised me to be the woman I am and I don't know if I can ever fully thank you. You taught me to be independent, adventurous, crafty, kind, fun-loving, and so much more! It is so easy to laugh with you and laughing with you is one of my favorite things to do. 

Mom and I cracking up while she was trying to put my garter on

Everything I remember about my childhood is fun. You and Dad were amazing at making everything we did fun. I can distinctly go through my memories and hear you laughing through a lot of them because we were having fun. I remember laying on the floor in the t.v. room just giggling with you. You are just so much fun!

I remember one night when I was in high school, I was having a difficult time with the drama that a specific friend was causing. I was laying in bed crying and you came into my room and just hugged me. You didn't say anything else, you just knew that a hug was what I needed and it was the perfect fix. It felt like I was a little girl again and you had just kissed a boo-boo better. 

I'm sorry that I haven't always been as open with you as we would both have liked. I wish I had told you about my first kiss and been able to tell you details and giggle about it with you. I should have known that you would have been excited for me and not disappointed. 

I'm glad that I wasn't raised to hate getting dirty. You taught me that it's ok to play in the dirt sometimes. Especially on our camping and backpacking trips. I'm so grateful that I had someone to teach me the right way to squat to pee! When we hiked Pico Blanco and I slipped off a rock into the water, it was nice to be able to look at you and to see that it wasn't as horrible as I thought, I was just a little wet. I remember playing in the garden dirt and catching worms, it was so much fun! And then there are all the stories about your childhood; you are one tough cookie, and I am so happy that you helped me to be like you!

People that know you often tell me that I look like you. Don't worry, I'm not offended or upset at all! I am quite the opposite. You are beautiful and I hope I continue looking like you! Something I have often noticed and admired is a cute twinkle in your eyes. (I know that might sound corny, but I love it!) When you are happy, teasing, or mischievous that twinkle shows up and makes it obvious that you are having a good time! 

I know this letter is kind of all over the place, but I really just want to let you know that you were, and are, an amazing mom! You make life fun and I am so glad we live close to each other so we can see each other all the time! 

I love you Mom <3

Family Time

Hello All!

 Can I just tell you how much I love my family? Of Course, my own little family. McKay is the best husband in the world for me. He always shows me and tells me how much he loves me. Which, by the way, is a lot! We have moments where I look at him and state, "You love me!" to which he replies, "Yes". And I pull a Star Wars moment and say "I know". I never doubt McKay's feelings for me. He helps me cook dinner, even though its not his favorite thing to do, because he knows I enjoy it. He supports and encourages me in all of my goals and will often make my goals his goals. We laugh together all the time. Basically he knows me so well and still loves me, and I know him so well and love him because he is fantastic!

I also love my in-laws and the family I grew up in. They are all wonderful people! Within the past two weeks I've felt surrounded by family and it is a great feeling. Larissa (my twin) came to Utah to visit with her family. It was time to give her new little boy, Quinn, his baby blessing. In the LDS church we give our infants a special blessing, usually including their name and blessings we feel Heavenly Father wants for them (read more here). So the family that could make it came for this special occasion. Adam was even able to fly into town for part of Larissa's visit. We had a big family dinner and just enjoyed everyone. Larissa and I got to go hiking together twice while she was here and the time together was just perfect. I love my twin!

I also got to see Carli this past week(Carli is McKay's brother's wife). She came into Utah for BYU's women's conference. She texted me a few weeks prior and told me she had never hiked the Y and wanted to do it with me. So on Thursday we met up and started up the mountain. It was one of the hottest days we've had here but we made it to the top of the Y. I had such a blast chatting and catching up with Carli! 

Family is so great and I am so glad to know that I can be with mine forever! I am so grateful that my parents were sealed for eternity in the temple so that I can be with them and my siblings for forever. And I am so grateful that McKay and I were able to be sealed in the temple for eternity. I love knowing that even after this life I will have my wonderful family with me. 

Love you all!

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

I try not to blog about infertility too often because I don't want people to think thats all I ever think about, but something kind of big happened this week.

After I had my hysterosalpingogram done, McKay and I decided we would wait two months before we did any other tests or asked my doctor what else we could do. Two months have passed and nothing new. Previously, during visits with my doctors they have suggested that I might not be ovulating regularly and this could be the cause of our infertility. So, this week McKay and I decided to ask my doctor for a medication called Clomiphene. Clomiphene is supposed to force my body to ovulate. I called and asked for a prescription and  was told that the doctor would give me one for Clomiphene, and one for Metformin. The Metformin was because the doctor is pretty sure that I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I've been suspecting this for a while now, but it was news to me that my doctor thought so too. I won't go into detail, but every doctor I've been to I've asked about the possibility of having PCOS. Every doctor I've been to has seemed to think that was not the issue for me, until now. Along the way I have found out tidbits about my body that has led me to suspect PCOS, but without a diagnosis from a doctor I was never sure. It's a relief now to have the diagnosis.

PCOS is a condition that keeps a woman's body from ovulating regularly. Often times the woman will have cysts on her ovaries. Insulin resistance is thought to be a possible cause.  This causes hormone imbalances, weight gain, acne, dark hair where women shouldn't have dark hair, and all kinds of other issues. Luckily, I feel like mine is only mild. I do have some of these symptoms, and I am slightly insulin resistant. 

On Thursday, when I was diagnosed, I felt pretty devastated. My body is the cause for McKay and I not having children. I was frustrated with the doctors I've been to. Why hadn't they been able to realize that I had PCOS long before now? And I was sad. PCOS isn't curable and I'll probably have to deal with it each time I want to get pregnant. 

But, on the flip side, we finally know why we haven't been able to get pregnant. We finally have a cause, and while it isn't curable, it is treatable. And that part is so relieving. The Metformin that my doctor prescribed for me is supposed to help my body use insulin better which should help everything else along. So on Friday afternoon I picked up my prescriptions and am now looking forward to seeing how the medication helps my body. 

McKay and I have a renewed hope that with this diagnosis and treatments its possible that we might be welcoming a baby into our family within the next year. There is always the possibility that the strength and amount of the meds will need to be adjusted before it actually works for us. But we're hopeful again and feel happy. 

Other Things That Happened This Week:

Watched an episode of Planet Earth II (I love nature documentaries)

Hiked the Y, twice (training for the Grand Canyon)

McKay turned down a job offer (it just wasn't tempting enough)

Saw my lovely twin Larissa and met my new cute nephew

Had a picnic in a park with McKay (the weather has been really beautiful)

Daddy Rosa

Wow! After last week's post we received so many loving, supportive comments. Thank you all so much! The Lord has truly blessed us with angels for friends and family. 

This week I was able to drive my parents to the airport before McKay and I started our week of house sitting and dog sitting. My mom left in the morning and my dad's plane flew out in the evening. Since Dad and I were already in Salt Lake we decided we'd make a day out of it. We dropped Mom off and then headed to a disc golf course. Dad has gotten into the game in the past year or so and I've only played once. So Dad showed me the ropes and we had a blast. Whenever I pick up a frisbee it takes me a few throws to really get in the groove of throwing it correctly and well. So I didn't do great for the first few baskets. The course went all over a large field and it was challenging to find the next tee-off for each basket. There were a few holes that were right along the banks of a river. It was nerve-racking throwing those because my discs always end up  curving to the left at the end of the throw, straight towards the river. I was really careful and we didn't lose our discs. We had so much fun playing and it was beautiful day to be outside. Afterwards we dropped by Kristen's house and she and her boys joined us on our adventure to the Great Salt Lake. None of us had ever been out to the lake. We drove just far enough to find a beach that we could let the boys play on. Unfortunately none of us had brought our swimsuit, so I can't tell you if you float really well. Plus the water was pretty cold, so I'm not sure if we would have gotten in even if we had our swimsuits. But it was beautiful. Dad and I ended our day with a stop at a barbecue restaurant which was so tasty! After that, I drove Dad to the airport and then headed home. 

I love spending time with Dad. He has always made spending time together feel special. The summer after I graduated high school Dad and I planned the first of three annual backpacking trips together. All of my friends had already headed off to college and Mom and Jessica went to girls camp, leaving Dad and I at home together. So we planned a trip for somewhere we'd never hiked before. It was definitely an adventure and a learning experience. I'll just say that we were sure glad we were using walking sticks, and we planned on bringing snake bite kits on trips after that. We got to go on two more backpacking trips together in the following years and always had so much fun together. I felt special that Dad took just me on a trip. Dad and I had three or four days to spend hiking/camping, chatting, and enjoying nature together. We had some really good conversations and some really good runs in the middle of the night, chasing after raccoons that stole our bags.

I was really blessed with such a wonderful dad that made time to spend with his family. He made all of us kids feel special and feel as if our opinion mattered. Dad is a worthy priesthood holder and always offered Father's blessings every year before school began. He was always prepared to give counsel and advice when we needed it, and still does when we ask for it. He sure is a wonderful man!

Other things I did this week:
Hiked with Kristen
Hiked the Y
Went to an indoor football game with Jessica and Cody
Helped people in the ward move
Ate at a yummy hotpot in Provo
Finished week three of crossfit
Skyped with Sonnie and Alex

Our Journey with Infertility

I created this blog so that I can keep my friends and family in the know. I want them to be involved in my life and to know how we are enjoying life. I also created the blog and titled it "Joy in the Journey" to try to force myself to see the Joy in the Journey. 

The idea to start a blog like this came from a friend of mine who has been going through a pretty tough trial for that past 6-8 months and has started a blog to try to reach out to those who need help finding joy. I'm not sure if she realizes just how much I admire her ability to share what she is going through and to use this trial to serve others; to show others that, although there are trials, we can find joy, we can count our blessings, we can still believe that life is good. I love reading her blog because she always shares tough times and blessings in the same post. In fact, she often shares that tough times are blessings. It is inspiring. 

So my current struggle is with infertility. McKay and I got married in August 2013 and by February 2014 were ready to bring kids into our life. I knew that my body needed some time to adjust after I went off birth control so the first month or two of negative pregnancy tests weren't surprising. We both got extremely excited about the prospect of having a baby within the next year. I started researching what type of birth experience I wanted to have. I watched a lot of documentaries and read a lot of books. I even went so far as to look at OBGYN's and midwives nearby. I knew what I wanted when the time came.

But month after month passed and there was never any exciting news.
We had a group of newly-wed friends that slowly, one by one, started announcing their pregnancies. We were so ecstatic for them. We were also a little confused and heartbroken. Why wasn't it happening for us? It was difficult. A big reason why it was difficult is because of the private, and sacred, nature of how life is created. You just don't go around telling people about that. We both felt like we couldn't ask if anyone else was having trouble and we couldn't just tell someone that we were having trouble.

As dramatic as it sounds, we continued on silently. We kept our struggle to ourselves.

I avoided a friend's baby shower because I had gotten a negative pregnancy test only a few days before. I wanted to be there to support her, especially since the shower was held in the same building we lived in. But I was feeling emotional that day and didn't feel like I could be as enthusiastic as she deserved.

It was tough meeting new people. After finding out how long we had been married the next question was often if we had kids. When we politely said not yet we received a variety of responses. "That's smart to wait till you're done with school", or, "Good, enjoy the time you have just the two of you". We had started trying before either of us were done with school, and although we definitely see it as a blessing now, the time we spend just the two of us has been three years of wishing it was the three of us.

The point is, we didn't feel like we could tell people that we had been trying to get pregnant. We felt like it would be awkward and painful. After about a year of no success I finally had enough of keeping it secret. I wanted our family to know. I knew if we wanted a miracle we needed prayers from those who love us. I emailed my whole family, Rosa's and Warnick's. We received such an outpouring of love and support, and a much needed joke to help lighten our moods a little. 20 extra people were praying for us. Honestly, once our family was in the know I felt like we had a lot more strength and patience poured out on us from the Lord. Right now is not when the Lord wants us to have a baby, but the prayers from our family have definitely blessed us with what we need to endure.

Once the word was out to the family I felt so much better. I realized that before I was able to talk to others about it, all of our feeling of sadness, heartache, and confusion were kept cooped up. They ended up filling us to the brim to the point that it was all we could think about. Opening up was so relieving. I ended up telling a few friends and then another year later opening up completely. Infertility and all that goes with it is a very taboo topic in today's world and I knew that I wasn't the only one that needed someone to talk to about it. I wanted to raise awareness and let other couples know they weren't alone.

Meanwhile, after we hit our year mark of trying to get pregnant I started going to the doctor to find the cause. I got multiple blood tests done that told me my hormones were mostly normal and I was ovulating. McKay was tested and passed with flying colors. We were told to try for another three months and then to come back if we weren't successful. We weren't successful. A few more blood tests told me I have hypothyroidism. My body doesn't make enough thyroid hormone which affects my ability to get pregnant. So I got on some meds. I also started seeing a holistic doctor because anything helps. He helped us feel hopeful again. We went through good times and bad times and had been feeling down for a while. When we saw the holistic doctor he helped us see that my body wasn't that far off from where it needed to be. It felt like he was invested in our story and as if he truly wanted to hear that we were pregnant. It was nice to feel hopeful again

That brings us to almost current time. I had a hysterosalpingogram done in February that showed normal results and I am still monitoring my thyroid. We are trying to be a little more assertive in trying to find a cause because, as of now, there is no explanation for our infertility. So I'm sure there are more tests and more learning to come. But we are happy and doing well. We have reached a point where we don't expect to be pregnant anymore. As sad as that sounds, it's actually a good place for us to be. When we just don't expect it, its easier to handle. When we get a positive pregnancy test we will both be extremely surprised and overjoyed.

So, while McKay and I are going through the trial of infertility I want to make this post my try to reach out to the other couples that are having similar troubles. Dealing with infertility is not easy and I won't pretend that it is. I want to let others know that despite the heartache and loneliness my life is filled with happiness.

 I know that this trial comes from God, and God knows what he's doing in giving us this trial. We continue to trust His timing and trust that he knows what is best for us. That keeps me going.

Days with McKay

Well, last week was the first official week of my crossfit bootcamp. I feel like it has already started to give me more energy and I feel encouraged to get out and hike, walk, and just be more active. I feel good, even though the workouts are sometimes exhausting. 

On Thursday McKay only had to work for four hours. So we had a nice morning together with a yummy breakfast. I love having slow mornings with the love of my life. It starts my day off wonderfully. I dropped him off at work about eleven o'clock and then decided to find a place to walk or hike instead of going home right away. I had the dogs with me and they needed to get some energy out. I found a walk/hike along a canal and it was better than I expected it to be. The canal was empty and the path was just gravel with some slightly rocky areas. The day was overcast and rain was predicted, but it wasn't really too chilly. It was a really enjoyable walk. The dogs ran all over the place. Since I didn't have a ball to throw for them I tried to see if they would chase a rock I threw. They did! I threw rock after rock down into the empty canal and the dogs (usually just Scout) would run down into the canal and find the rock I threw, sniff at it for a minute, and then come back up the bank. I was surprised they actually chased the rocks. It was so fun watching them. The path went up into the foothills and it started raining, but not enough to make us turn around. We were enjoying it too much. Eventually the rain did get too heavy and we were close to how far we wanted to go anyway. So back to the car we went. 

McKay also had Friday off from work. We decided to explore the Museum of Art on BYU campus. We'd explored part of it before, but we wanted to finish. Its bigger than I thought it was going to be. When we pulled into the parking lot we were surprised by how busy the place was. We drove around for ten minutes and couldn't find a parking spot. We finally decided to stalk a family as they came out of the museum and walked to their van. We stopped and turned on our indicator. They slowly pulled out, backing towards us, and drove off down the aisle. When they had backed out towards us another car had pulled up expecting to take the spot, the driver hadn't seen us. They took our spot and we were done trying to find a parking spot. So we had a change of plans. We headed to the puppy barn to cheer us up. And cheer us up it did. Lots of cute cuddly puppies licking our cheeks. Its one of my favorite places! We went back to the museum afterwards and found a parking spot. My favorite thing there is this rainbow made of thread. It comes down from a skylight and is so pretty! I wouldn't mind it in my future house, maybe on a smaller scale.

The day was a good one. I love being able to spend full days with McKay. We have so much fun together. It reminds me of adventures we took together when we first started dating. Every so often we decided we'd rather spend a full day together than go to our classes. I know, not very responsible of us, but worth it! One specific time, we ditched classes and drove up towards Island Park. We visited Big Spring and got eaten alive by mosquitoes. There's a bridge that goes over the spring and there are some huge fish that hang out under it. A lot of people throw bread into the water and lure the fish out. As we were standing on the bridge we saw a big moose just down stream from us. We were far enough away that we didn't have to be scared of it charging. It was a cool sight. We drove up Sawtelle Peak, drove to West Yellowstone, and just had a blast being together.

 I love remembering the beginning of our relationship because it was new and exciting. Everything I learned about McKay was a new insight into who he was. It's fun thinking about how it was then, and comparing it to now. I'm still learning about McKay. I love spending time with him. We are so comfortable around each other and he makes me feel safe. He is still my escape and my secret keeper. He knows everything about me and has seen me at my worst, but still tells me I'm beautiful. He is the kindest man I know. He always wakes up happy and treats everyone well. McKay is my best friend. I am so glad I chose him to spend the rest of eternity with. Its going to be a fun eternity.

Pinewood derby, crossfit, green

So sorry that I didn't post a blog last week. Things just got busy. There was a lot of things to do for Cub Scouts. I feel like I was kind of thrown into this without any preparation, but I'm learning and figuring things out...slowly. There was a food drive planned and I had to get the Cub Scouts together to pass out flyers about it within our ward boundaries. It was a little difficult because I hadn't been able to contact all of the leaders before. But I did it, and passing out flyers went great. That was a Tuesday night. The rest of the week was focused on preparing for the Pinewood Derby that weekend. Mom and I made trophies for the boys and printed out certificates. I contacted the other two wards we were joining with for the derby and found out details. And on Saturday the Pinewood Derby was wonderful! An awesome turnout of twenty-six boys with really cool looking cars. One dad with two boys racing told me, "They want you to know that their cars glow in the dark"! There was a car with Baymax driving, a purely silver car, and even a car that was painted like bacon! Everything turned out great and everyone had a lot of fun.

This current week has been a fun one. It was Orientation week for my crossfit challenge and, man, was it difficult. Each week we have challenges to complete. Every time we complete a challenge our name is added to a drawing to see who will "win the bootcamp". Winning the bootcamp means you win your money back. While the bootcamp is definitely worth what we paid for it, it would be awesome to win the money back! So I am hoping to complete all the challenges we're given. Challenge number one was to attend three crossfit classes this week in preparation for our own classes to begin. The classes we were asked to attend are not catered towards beginners and so they were difficult. But the coaches we understanding and very willing to work with us. And the other people in the classes were so supportive. Everyone cheers each other on, a lot! It is a great community to be a part of and I am enjoying it fully! So I attended classes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. As a result, some part of my body has been sore all week. But it is a good sore. A sore that tells me I've been moving and working and making myself stronger. It feels good. The workouts have also helped me feel really good about myself. In the workout I went to on Friday we did Thrusters. Thrusters consist of squatting with a barbell on your shoulders and then standing and pushing the barbell up above your head. I had a barbell that weighed thirty-five pounds, but that was a lot for me (I've never really done any lifting like this). Within the whole workout we were expected to do 90 thrusters and about three sets I was seriously considering lessening the weight I was lifting. But I decided to tell myself I could do it and think positively about it. It worked! I finished the 90 thrusters and my arms hadn't fallen off! I was really proud of myself. I'm so excited for the actual bootcamp classes to begin.

Along with the crossfit classes I've been working on hiking and walking longer distances in preparation for hiking the Grand Canyon mid-May. I'm going with a group of friends as a reunion and to celebrate one of their birthdays. We all worked at Jacob Lake Inn together and have hiked the canyon before. I am looking forward to it, it will be a blast! In preparing for the hike I've found some really great places to walk. In Spanish Fork there is a trail that goes along the river, and in Lehi a similar trail. I really enjoy walking in nature. It gives me time to really appreciate the beauty all around. I don't listen to music while I walk, I just love the sounds of the water rushing by, birds in the trees, and the breeze rustling the blossoms on the trees. I've taken Swede with me the past few times and she is a great walking/hiking buddy. She stays right by me and is just so happy to be exploring somewhere new with me. She sure is a cutey.

Today we had planned to go to the color festival at the Indian Lotus Temple. It is supposed to be a celebration of spring where you throw colored chalk. I've been before and it was really fun. We decided to go with Jessica and Cody in the late afternoon. At noon it started raining....It didn't stop until six. We drove past the Lotus Temple to see if they were still holding the festival and they were, but let me just point out that powdered chalk and rain just doesn't really mix. Or maybe it mixes too well. One of the fun things about the festival is going in a white shirt and having fun patches of different colored chalk on you. Well, with the rain people looked a little more like they mixed all of the colors together, added a little water to form a paste and then put it on a slip'n slide. So instead we just took a drive all over Payson, Benjamin, and Spanish Fork. I love having Jessica and Cody so close so we can see them often. 

It rained a few times this week. Usually rain isn't my most favorite thing. You often have to stay inside or else you'll get cold and wet. But when seasons are changing from winter to spring, rain is a very pleasant thing. Rain means green. Every year when things start to green up I realize just how much I love the color green. Fields of green grass, green leaves appearing on trees, little tulip leaves popping out of the ground. Green means spring is coming. Winter doesn't last forever. Green is an amazing color!

Finding the "Me" in "Us"

Before McKay and I got married I was always pretty independent. He likes to joke about the time I told him, "I'm an independent woman, and I don't need a man in my life (I just want one)." McKay also likes the story of when we were FHE family (before we dated) and went sledding with our FHE group. I forgot to bring gloves and my hands were freezing. A few of the guys in the group, including McKay, offered to let me use their gloves. I didn't much want help or want to admit that I was freezing so I declined their offers. I had no problem doing things by myself and for myself.

When McKay and I started dating we tried to spend all of our spare time together. This often meant grocery shopping, attempting to do our homework, walking to class; all of this together. We loved the time we spent together and felt like we couldn't get enough of together time. Doing everything together continued into our married life and it has been wonderful that we never get tired of spending time together. 

A few months ago it was time to go grocery shopping. We were busy and trying to fit in a time to do the shopping together was challenging. McKay asked if I could go by myself while he was at work. Could I? Of course I could, but I hadn't gone shopping by myself in a very long time. It was at this point that I realized a lot of my independent-ness had faded. I didn't go places alone very often. I often had help from McKay when I do difficult things. Basically, I'd gone to the other side of the spectrum and had become pretty dependent. Along with becoming dependent, I realized I didn't have hobbies, friends, and many other things that belonged solely to me. I share everything with McKay. 

Now, don't get me wrong, this is not a bad thing. McKay is my husband and I love sharing my life with him. But I feel like while we've developed a concrete "us", my individual Brittany-ness has faded just a tad. While McKay and I both love being a family and sharing hobbies and such, I think its important to keep a hold of what makes us unique from each other and individuals. That is what I've kinda lost sight of. 

Side note:

Pair this with the fact that we thought we'd be parents by now. This means I've felt a little lost. I'm not at the stage of life I thought I would be at 25. I'm not a parent, I haven't discovered my calling or career. All of this adds together to make me feel like I need to "rediscover" myself and who I am right now.

So, the past few months have been a journey of figuring out how to be Brittany & McKay, and also just Brittany. I'm finding a happy medium. I've made a list of hobbies I want to try: spoon carving, crocheting, ribbon embroidery, etc. I'm slowly working through the list and finding what I love. I am thinking about traveling some, by myself or with my mom. I'll probably plan trips to visit family in San Diego, Texas, and Indiana. 

Another big part of rediscovering myself is getting back to being as active as I use to be. With Rexburg being as small as it is, before I had a car I would walk everywhere around the city. That kept me in shape. My roommate, Hannah, and I once ran 14 miles together and loved the whole experience. I grew up hiking practically every weekend with my family. I have a very active background, and recently I've been doing a lot of sitting. So, I'm working at sitting less and moving more. Last week I applied to participate in a six week Crossfit challenge that includes three workouts a week with a coach, and nutrition counseling. The gym that is holding this "boot camp" only wanted to accept 15-20 women into the challenge, but they were interviewing 50-60 women. I really wanted to be accepted so that it could be a kickstart for me to really get in shape and make it a lifestyle. I heard back from the gym on Friday and I have been accepted! I am extremely excited! And also a little nervous. Everything I've heard about crossfit makes it sound intimidating and so intense. But I am going to work hard and get sore and love it!

I am planning on hiking The Grand Canyon rim-to-rim in the middle of May with some friends. After that I want to keep planning things in the future that will keep me working towards something. I want to do a marathon or a triathlon. I want to hike, backpack, run, ride my bike, and find other activities to love. 

I'm really excited to be rediscovering myself (as corny as that may sound). I'm having a blast trying different things and finding some things that are more enjoyable to share with McKay, while finding others that I will enjoy by myself. McKay has been so supportive of this journey and I love him all the more for it! He has been working on some of his own projects too including a piece of software that he's been wanting to program for the past ten years. It is so fun hearing how the project is coming along, and where McKay wants it to go. 

Being married to McKay has been the best thing in my life! I love having an "us", having a family together and developing our own family culture, traditions, and hobbies. I also love watching us grow and develop together and apart. McKay is such an amazing, kind, smart, wonderful man. I didn't think he could get any better, but through every experience we have he has grown and become even more wonderful. It is such an awesome thing having someone to support and having them support you too. He's great, we're great, life is great. 

Stay tuned for next week's episode ;)  

Cheers!

Alex visit, massage, and cute dogs

This week we got to see Alex, McKay's sister (Shae's twin). She was passing through town Monday-Wednesday. Chan, Shae, Alex, McKay, and I all got together in a mini Warnick Sibling reunion. It was really fun. I love that when I married into the Warnick family I gained so many awesome siblings! Both Shae and Alex are artists and they had taken a trip to Arizona to go birding (their favorite hobby and often the subject of their artwork). It was entertaining hearing funny stories about their trip. On Monday, the day they were driving back to Utah Valley, we had a pretty good snow storm. They told us when they arrived that it had been a little scary to drive in, and we were glad they had made it safely! It was really fun getting to see Alex and we wish she could come visit more often!

We finally got to have our couples massage that McKay gifted to me(us) for Valentine's Day. McKay got off work early and we drove up to American Fork. The massage was wonderful! They always ask you what kind of pressure you like, I often ask for deep pressure. It never is quite deep enough though. But this time, let me tell you, it was more than enough! I could have asked for lighter pressure, but I didn't. I think if we ever go back, I'll ask for a medium pressure instead of deep. Both McKay and I felt so relaxed after the massage. And we felt a little sore the next day. It was an experience I'd like to repeat!

We really appreciated our dogs this week. So I'm including a lot of pictures and maybe a few videos:

If its not obvious, we love our dogs! We got Scout to help us cope with our infertility and we just fell in love! Although they aren't children, they sure bring joy to our lives and keep us laughing. We're so glad we have them in our life!

Not much else happened this week, but I hope the pictures and videos helped fill this in! 

Hasta la vista, baby!

Lehi church, hysterosalpingogram, and McKay's birthday

This week began with trying to find a ward to attend in Lehi. We were still at my parents' house on Sunday morning and did not want to drive 30 minutes to try to make it to our own ward at 9 in the morning. So we decided we'd find a ward in Lehi that was meeting at 11. We drove to the nearest chapel and the parking lot was completely full! We walked in and there was a meeting already started. We thought maybe it was stake conference. So we went to the next closest building (literally kitty-corner from the first building, this is Utah after all). Because it was so close to the first building we were pretty sure they were part of the same stake and would be having stake conference as well. We were right. We had to drive fairly far to find a building that was not in the same stake! But it was worth it. I love attending sacrament meeting and feeling the spirit there. It is so wonderful that within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints the gospel is the same wherever you attend church. It is such a blessing!

Just a side note: we got to come back to our own apartment on Sunday night. Before we had gone to stay in Lehi I had made sure to clean our apartment and leave it looking nice. It was a relief to come back to a clean home. Growing up, I never quite understood why my mom refused to go on a vacation without cleaning our house very well. It always stressed me out when I had to clean and pack for the trip. Now that I am the homemaker I completely get it! Thanks Mom.

Sometimes it is easy to almost forget about our struggle with infertility. As we live day to day there are so many good, happy, wonderful things that help us to keep our heads up. This week we were very aware of our desire to have children. We are trying to be more assertive in discovering why we aren't able to have children just yet. This week we had scheduled a hysterosalpingogram. Basically it is a procedure to see if my uterus and fallopian tubes are normal. I could tell you the full experience, but I think its enough to say that it was not a fun procedure. It was physically uncomfortable and the doctor was not very sensitive or gentle. I would tell you his name to make sure you don't go to see him, but he didn't even introduce himself to me before...I just felt like I should know his name before he got so friendly. The results of the procedure were good: everything normal. 

I often feel extremely conflicted when I go in for various tests like this. Part of me wishes we could find something wrong with us so that we can fix it or at least just have a reason for not having children. It would be almost comforting to just know what was wrong. Another part of me wants to keep hearing that everything is normal and we are healthy. Normal results mean that we just need to keep trusting in the Lord's timing and that is something that I can do. Is it difficult? Of course, but I know that Heavenly Father loves us and his timing is truly best. So, whether we find something wrong or everything continues showing up normally we will trust that the Lord has a plan for us. 

We are determined to have children one way or another.

Friday was my hunky husband's birthday. I feel like celebrations always revolve around good food. We started the day with homemade cream cheese danishes. Yum! McKay went to work, but got off an hour early. We went to a delicious Indian restaurant for dinner and stuffed our faces. We were so full that we only shared a small sliver of homemade chocolate cake before going to bed that night. McKay says that it was a really good day. One of the gifts I got for him was an illustrated version of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. It is pretty neat. McKay likes that the illustrations are quality and detailed like old school books. We'll probably try to get all of the illustrated versions of the Harry Potter series eventually. Hopefully our future kids will be fans. 

I got a new church calling today that is pretty exciting. It is different from all the other callings I've had in the past. *Drumroll*......I was called to be Cub Scout Master! Since I'm a girl, I really have no idea how scouts work. This coming week I will be spending a lot of time on the Scouting website learning. I have a pinewood derby coming up in the middle of March. It should be fun and exciting to learn new things and have fun with the scouts. 

Have a good week! March begins and daylight savings is coming! (I'm really excited for that!) Love you all!

House-watching and dog-sitting

We were living in my parents' house this week. My twin, Larissa, has a baby due any day now and Mom flew out to Texas to be with her. Dad works out of town during the week and so their two dogs are at home alone. So we spent the week at their house and claimed four dogs as ours temporarily. They are big dogs. Growing up with them I never really realized just how big they are. Now, after having a mini schnauzer and a 20 lb puppy, a 75 lb and a 90 lb weimaraner seem huge! It has gone really well; my parents' dogs are such well behaved dogs and they got along with Scout and Swede. I'll just leave off with this: as much as I love dogs, we will not have more than our two small dogs anytime soon. 

FHE on Monday was so fun! Shae brought a breakfast sandwich maker to the house, we gathered ingredients, made sandwiches, and watched an episode of Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell. Breakfast sandwiches are some of my favorite things! Really any combination of eggs, ham/sausage/bacon, and cheese are just my cup o' tea. And with the sandwich maker it was so easy! The Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell episode was fun. I went into it not knowing at all what it was about. Apparently it's based off of a book (maybe books?) about 19th century England and magicians. That's what I got from the episode we watched at least. Pretty entertaining. 

Valentine's Day was kinda funny. McKay had a half day at work so he got to come home for lunch. He brought me a beautiful bouquet of white, yellow, and purple daisies (I LOVE daisies!). He also told me that he got us a couple massage...but it wasn't scheduled yet. Apparently when he called to schedule the massage the man that answered the phone was very short with McKay and quickly told him that they were booked through the week and could not schedule us yet. So, anywho...we'll call again on Monday and get on their schedule. It will be lovely. The rest of our day was spent relaxing, going to the park to play frisbee (yes, in Utah during Februrary. It was actually warm enough!), exploring near Utah Lake, eating at Moochie's, and eating pie with Jessica and Cody. It was a fantastic Valentine's day. 

We've been playing "what-if?" recently. People will think we're a little loco when they hear what idea we've been playing with so let me preface it with this: it probably won't happen, it would be a huge adjustment, I think we could do it and love it. What is the idea? Tiny houses. We're talking the houses that are built on utility trailers that are usually less than 400 sq. ft. Pretty crazy! When people hear about tiny homes they often think about hippies and extreme minimalists. We are neither. Our purpose would be to focus more on what we need, getting us out of the house more, and just loving being close and creative with each other. Anyway, like I said, we're just playing around with the idea. It's been fun. McKay and I love thinking about where our future will take us, what our family will be like (when kids come), where we will live, etc. 

And tiny homes has been a fun idea to play with.

This week I've been digging through Mom's closets and finding old pictures. It has been a blast! If I can find a way to get the pictures on my computer I'll try to get some on here. McKay was so nice to look through soooo many pictures with me and listen to me talk about that trip, that person, that place, etc. I had so much fun! 

Things I've  enjoyed this week:

Nutella on buttered toast

This is Us

Lots of windows

Driving a Prius

Snuggling with Swede

Getting a surprise book in the mail from Shae

Old pictures

Daisies

Buying gifts for McKay's birthday

Reading in Ether

Getting a call from Vicky

Love you all!!!

Slightly Uneventful Week

Another week, another tale. But not really. This week was uneventful.

McKay and I started a program called Paleo Restart. It has great reviews and we were excited. The Paleo diet has you eat a lot of whole, unprocessed foods. We've really loved how we've felt in the past while we've been eating paleo. So we started this program to help us get into it so we could make it a lifestyle, and not just a "for now" diet. It's been really good. Yummy food, easy recipes. It is expensive though. I mentioned to Shae that my grocery shopping trip was expensive and she told me an interesting fact. Shae said that in the US we spend less on food than any other country in the world. We don't buy quality food. We eat McDonald's. I think I just need to get use to just spending more on higher quality food. One of the most interesting meals we had this week was Saturday's breakfast. It was an egg and smoked salmon open-faced sandwich on a slice of apple. So, from bottom to top: slice of granny smith apple, slice of smoked salmon, scrambled eggs with chives. It was an interesting combination. Better than I thought it would be though. We probably will have to pause our Paleo Restart though...

I worked on taxes this week. 

It always feels like such a surprise as you work on taxes and watch numbers add up. In our case this year, we were given a tax penalty because neither of us had qualifying health insurance for a good chunk of the year. It's a bummer, but we have a possible consult with an accountant that might help us figure things out a little. The penalty could be worse, and if the accountant can't figure anything out for us we will be fine financially. It's just a little stressful when we have been trying really hard to stick to our budget and then a bill pops out when we were not expecting it. We are so grateful for McKay's job that allows us to pay for those surprise costs. 

I also feel like we have definitely been blessed throughout our marriage because we pay tithing. I am amazed when I realize how much we have been blessed because of the law of tithing. The blessings always come through and are always there waiting for just the time when we need them. God is good.

Good new! I recently got some blood work results back. My thyroid is currently at a normal range. This is exciting for us. Bad news: we're pretty sure the medication I am on to fix my thyroid level has caused me to be a crazy lady! I feel bad for McKay because it's like I am constantly PMSing. I've never suffered from very bad PMS, but man, this medication is making up for that! I often feel angry and mean. Back to good news: since realizing the probable cause I've been able to be more myself. I don't know how that works, but I am grateful to feel like myself again. 

The last week or two have been a little difficult emotionally. For those who don't know, we are dealing with infertility. We have now been trying to get pregnant for three years. No luck. But, I do get to count so many blessings when I'm feeling down about this. 

1. My thyroid level is normal
2. I'm feeling more like me
3. I have two really cute puppies
4. My hubby is hott
5. I'm losing weight
6. Despite the weight I'm at, my body can do hard things
7. Most of my family lives nearby
8. I will be blessed with a new nephew in the next week or two
9. McKay has a great job that he enjoys
10. I have some great friends who send me cards and postcards just when I need them
11. McKay thinks I am beautiful
12. We get to have a sorta vacation for Valentine's Day
13. God loves me

There are so many more blessings, those are just a few I'm thinking about today. 

We got to play tourist on Saturday with Chan and Shae. We all visited the Springville Art Museum. It was a ton bigger than I thought it would be. And pretty darn fun! I'm sure we all got completely different levels of enjoyment from it. I know next to nothing about art and Shae is an amazing artist. I think we had a pretty good range haha. 

Things I'm working on right now:
30 days of no makeup (currently on day 7)
Losing 20 more pounds
Getting ready to hike the Grand Canyon Rim-to-Rim in May
Using less social media
Growing my hair out
Reading a ton
Learning about Doulas

I've had a request to include an update of our dogs. We have a spunky mini schnauzer named Scout and a cute goldendoodle named Swede. They are best buds. Scout will be two years old in June and Swede is five months old now. Scout is so smart! She reads us and I swear she understands every word we say. Swede is just the sweetest thing ever, such a great companion dog. She always is up for a snuggle unless she is running after Scout.

Until next week!<3